How many times have you said, “I’m fine” when you’re not?
You stay composed in meetings, deliver under pressure, and keep smiling but your shoulders are tight, you stomach is sore, and your sleep’s a mess.
That’s not resilience.
That’s survival.
When we suppress stress, the body doesn’t forget it stores it.
This “emotional bracing” keeps the nervous system locked in defence, draining the brain’s capacity for creativity, empathy, and clarity.
True composure comes when the body feels safe, not when we force ourselves to stay calm.
“I am strong; I don’t show weakness.”
That was my armour.
This story often starts in early experiences where showing sadness, anger, or fear didn’t feel safe or accepted. Don’t cry, pull yourself together, you’re a big girl now!
We have perfected putting the ‘FEELINGS’ aside, so we tighten, stay composed, or fix problems to maintain control.
That old emotional loop, shame or sadness beneath the surface now drives behaviours like overworking, avoiding vulnerability, or suppressing emotion.
Strength isn’t about holding everything in — it’s about feeling safe enough to let things move through.
In my corporate programmes, I teach leaders to meet their physiology first so they can regulate before they react, breathe before they speak, and connect before they correct.
That’s how sustainable performance is built.
With AYLA APPROACH Body first → Brain follows → Performance rises.
Message me “Interested” and I’ll share a few AYLA APPROACH neural techniques you can start using today to shift your state fast.
What emotions might your body be holding onto that your mind keeps pushing away?
Vanessa
Dr. Vanessa Harding | Transformational Entrepreneur & Body-Brain Performance Coach
Dr. Vanessa Harding is a visionary leader in science driven body-brain coaching, empowering high…
